Life (and death)

I consider myself a positive and optimistic person. I love life and try to make the most of it... Unfortunately the past few months I have allowed myself to slip into a routine. A routine that I have definately NOT been happy about!

Several different factors play a major roll in this "bad routine" but let's just say: I WASN'T HAPPY with my life! As mentioned earlier, change was needed but it really can be a pain in the ass to go through with certain changes and to stick to a new course in life!

Scared shitless for the unknown and the uncertain future, there was only one way to find out... TAKE THE LEAP!!! Easier said than done and MAN... Did life ever dump all possible crap on me at once! Threw me into the deep of the pool and made me swim! I must say that last week was one of the worst weeks of my life. Emotionally wrecked and with no course what so ever, nothing certain, I could only guess what would happen. After a long weekend full of talks and thoughts, it was hard getting out of bed on monday morning. Little did I know what insights I would receive on that monday...

Arriving at work I heard the terrible news from a collegue. In the weekend, a terrible accident had occured and one of my favorite collegues had lost her boyfriend... This obviously was NOT news I wanted to hear after the previous week! Trying to comfort her in any way possible, she looked at me and asked how I was doing... She knew I had been going through some rough times and was concerned despite her own terrible situation. When I told her that I was still having a tough time she simply said:

Just keep following that voice inside and listen to your feelings. Just do what's in your heart... HE DIDN'T!!! :-o

She was of couse refering to her boyfriend who had never done this and now will never be able to make the changes he needed to make...

Saying this with tears in her eyes, this was probably one of the biggest eye openers I've had in a long while! I was really blown away by her remark and her strength to make such a remark at such a horrific moment. Definately puts some things into perspective!!!!!

Feeling incredibly sad for her, we talked a bit more and somewhere, a strange feeling came over me. It felt like a certain change had occured! Maybe this talk about life (and death) was the just another reminder of the fact that life doesn't wait for you. That life indeed is "what happens while you are busy making other plans!" AND that if you dont get busy living the life you are meant to live, you might NEVER get that chance!

I guess we dont really realize it untill it's too late...

So..... To quote my brother (who probably got it from someone else):

"Attack life!!! Sooner or later it will kill you anyway!"


I THINK I'm heading in the right direction and strangely feeling better already.....

DES