Thursday, September 16, 2010

Life (and death)

I consider myself a positive and optimistic person. I love life and try to make the most of it... Unfortunately the past few months I have allowed myself to slip into a routine. A routine that I have definately NOT been happy about!

Several different factors play a major roll in this "bad routine" but let's just say: I WASN'T HAPPY with my life! As mentioned earlier, change was needed but it really can be a pain in the ass to go through with certain changes and to stick to a new course in life!

Scared shitless for the unknown and the uncertain future, there was only one way to find out... TAKE THE LEAP!!! Easier said than done and MAN... Did life ever dump all possible crap on me at once! Threw me into the deep of the pool and made me swim! I must say that last week was one of the worst weeks of my life. Emotionally wrecked and with no course what so ever, nothing certain, I could only guess what would happen. After a long weekend full of talks and thoughts, it was hard getting out of bed on monday morning. Little did I know what insights I would receive on that monday...

Arriving at work I heard the terrible news from a collegue. In the weekend, a terrible accident had occured and one of my favorite collegues had lost her boyfriend... This obviously was NOT news I wanted to hear after the previous week! Trying to comfort her in any way possible, she looked at me and asked how I was doing... She knew I had been going through some rough times and was concerned despite her own terrible situation. When I told her that I was still having a tough time she simply said:

Just keep following that voice inside and listen to your feelings. Just do what's in your heart... HE DIDN'T!!! :-o

She was of couse refering to her boyfriend who had never done this and now will never be able to make the changes he needed to make...

Saying this with tears in her eyes, this was probably one of the biggest eye openers I've had in a long while! I was really blown away by her remark and her strength to make such a remark at such a horrific moment. Definately puts some things into perspective!!!!!

Feeling incredibly sad for her, we talked a bit more and somewhere, a strange feeling came over me. It felt like a certain change had occured! Maybe this talk about life (and death) was the just another reminder of the fact that life doesn't wait for you. That life indeed is "what happens while you are busy making other plans!" AND that if you dont get busy living the life you are meant to live, you might NEVER get that chance!

I guess we dont really realize it untill it's too late...

So..... To quote my brother (who probably got it from someone else):

"Attack life!!! Sooner or later it will kill you anyway!"

I THINK I'm heading in the right direction and strangely feeling better already.....


Sunday, September 5, 2010

Life cleaning...

OK! It appears that "the darkest hour of the day is indeed the hour before the sun comes up". This morning I woke up to clear blue skies and a beautifull late summer day! Indeed..... I feel the darkest hour has passed!

This weekend has been used for some life cleaning. In other words: getting rid of certain things in my old life and making the adjustments for better things to come! After cleaning up a ton of stuff and actually throwing away certain things I NEVER thought I actually would, I feel new energy! This was immediatly used to go for a 8 km run through the park. Listening to some great music and enjoying the sun, I cant help but to thing that I'm running into my new life! All the energy is amazing! The best part is coming home and seeing the changes that have only recently been made. More and more change! :-)

I've used the opportunity to apply for some new jobs and talk to friends on the other side of the planet. I even did some reading. In short, I can conclude that the actual throwing away of things helps not only your house look better, but your mind as well. There is still plenty of dusting off to do but I have the feeling that the future is only going to get cleaner and brighter.....

To clean lifes...! :-)

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Power Moments! Collect them all!!!

It was the end of the afternoon at work when a collegue of mine asked me a favor. She asked me to talk to a guy who had been working for us for a few weeks and already was bored with what he was doing. It isn't a conversation I have with a lot of people at work but I did not mind ending the work day with a small motivational peptalk!

I asked him what he was thinking... Well! The job he was doing, wasn't really his cup of tea. It turned out that he had done a job like it in the past which was almost identical. There was no difference but he enjoyed this job much more than he enjoyed his current job!

Soooooooo, what mysterious circumstances make this guy want to quite his job? He had only been working there for a few weeks!!!

After talking to him for about 15 minutes is all became clear... His job wasn't that bad! It was a combination of many different things that made him unhappy and ready to quit his job! Some things were not even job related!!! He had just gotten back from a great vacation, wasn't ready for normal every day life again and had been working more hours than ever. Hardly something I would recomend in his line of work!!! Last but not least, he was surrounded by negative people!

Anyway, I asked him what he expected from us and what he wanted me to do... After a few questions and putting things into a different perspective, his answer was simple:

Let me continue to work there and the future will be different! I dont really want to quit my job!

I, of course was proud as I could ever be! This kid was full of positive energy again and decided right there and then that it all wasn't so bad and that he had never looked at it in the way I had just pointed out! He didn't really dislike his job. He just had some bad vibes. I asked him if there was anything else... NOPE! :-)

I immediately recognize this guy's thinking on a larger scale. He realized that his lack of motivation the past few weeks might get him fired so... He took action and set up an appointment with us! Almost amazed at what my pep talk did to him, I realize that some serious perspective changing would be a great thing for everyone including me!!! The trouble is... It can be SOOOOO hard!!! Especially if you continue to hold on to the way it "was"...

Anyway, helping this guy re-adjust his view was amazing! These small Power Moments, as I like to call them, really can be awesome! The best thing is that these moments can be contagious and infect anyone around them. Just sharing them with my collegues, makes life a little bit better.

These past few weeks have been REALLY tough on me and it's time to look at things from a different point of view. Collecting as many Power Moments as I can (they actually do happen quite often), I realize that my life isn't bad! I just need to look at it in a new way and except the fact that the transition between old and new can be pretty damn hard!!!

Then again... Making the transition from old to new might creat one BIG POWER MOMENT called...


Monday, August 30, 2010

Rollercoaster arriving

How crazy life can be at times and how seemingly impossible it might be... Now is the time for change!!!

The last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster! An out of control train going up, down, faster and slower. I finally have gathered enough strength to get of at the station, taking control of this train called life. It is obvious that the direction I'm heading in is not the right one. All the great idea's and all the great plans. So many things I was planning to do...

It's funny when I think of how many people I know that are always "planning to do" things. They are so busy planning things, that they never actually DO any of it! It's so easy to sit back and let the rollercoaster take you away. It can really be a hell of a ride but the problem is: not getting of at the station and taking the same course over and over again! Still with plenty of excitement untill it all starts to become routine!

I realize again just how hard it is to take action. My ride has had plenty of great moments and I look back on those with great joy! The great thing is that no matter what you change, the memories last. The bad ones help us learn from our mistakes and the good ones last forever.

Now, at the end of the summer of 2010 some serious changes are required. My train has stopped and it's time to get on another ride! After almost 10 years in this city I call home, I'm leaving my old life and heading for something new. Ive made decisions that terrify and excite me at the same time and already I'm feeling the adrenaline. I've had lots to think about the past few months and I've decided: IT AINT WORKING FOR ME!!!

So, I'm doing it! Letting my heart be my guide, I can only imagine where it will take me!